January is the month when many people are making resolutions and setting goals. I like to wait until February before I start working on my goals, as January is such an unproductive month for me. It is far too cold to go out running, my son usually has a difficult week or two settling back into school, at least one child will be down sick, and there are far too many sweets and naughty treats in the house left over from Christmas. So to start in January would only be setting myself up for failure.
I am always very motivated this time of year but I find it hard to keep that motivation going throughout the year. I can be flaky and a bit of a scatterbrain. I find it really difficult to stick with things, I am so easily distracted and then I forget what I was trying to do in the first place. Also, if a challenging situation arises, I get so overwhelmed and consumed by it, that everything else seems to fall apart. I then find it extremely difficult to get back on top of things and to build that motivation back up again.
If you have read my About page you will know that my son is being assessed for ADHD. Whilst researching the condition, I recognised a lot of the traits in myself, from both my childhood and now as an adult. Old school reports also show that I was struggling with a lot of the same issues J is now, such as being easily distracted, unable to stay on task, difficulties with organization, making careless mistakes plus a few others, but I will go into that more in a future post. It was a relief to discover that maybe there was a reason why I find some things more difficult or time-consuming than they should be. Whilst I have been trying to learn what is behind J’s difficulties and look for strategies to help him, I have recognised that I also could benefit from integrating some of these into my own life.
I have some big changes that I want to make to my life, as for the past few years I feel as though I have been merely existing from day to day. It is going to take time to get there. I have learnt that I don’t have the patience or the persistence to wait for the bigger long-term results alone. I need to be achieving and seeing almost instant results to stay focused and motivated. It became obvious that I need to be taking the big goals and breaking them down, possibly several times over, to identify rewarding shorter term goals.
To start this process off I envisioned what I would like my life to look like, obviously, the main thing I want is for me and the kids to be healthy and happy, but then I had to think about what could make our lives happier.
- To have good relationships with friends and family.
- A house for me and my kids, the kids to have their own room and a garden in a neighbourhood where the kids can play out and make friends.
- To be financially comfortable: to be able to pay the bills, get J the additional supports and services he needs, let the kids take up their interests and be able to bring them on a holiday once a year.
- To have a more healthy and active lifestyle.
- To have more quality time together as a family.
I need to look at each of these areas separately and think about them in further detail and identify what I would need to do to achieve them. I will also look at the barriers and try to see if there is a way around them.